Sigh... Stress... All i have now is 'STRESS'... Worry for tutorials, worry for assignments, worry for money, worry for everything~!
School work don't have to say, sure got worries one. I've complaint enough. Now, my money has used until dry up already. Buying things seems to have to go through my brain twice, or thrice... whether it's worth it? Whether i've enough for other things... Sometimes, i even tried to skip lunch so as to save abit... Poor ah~
Recently, also realise my hair dropping quite alot. Just doing homework at my hostel's study table a while then can see threads of hair lying on my tables... I think i'm getting bald soon~ Omg... What can i do anyway?
Hostel fees is due on the 24th. This time got to pay nearly $500 for my stay until December. $500... sigh... money again...
My knee's feeling pain due to last week's intensive exercises... The recurring pain has never been fully recover since don't know how many months back? I wonder how will i survive when i'm old? I should even think so far now... I need rest for now... Give myself 2 weeks not to do exercise to see if it can get any better.
Signed insurance from Prudential since army... now still have to pay 100+ every month... It seems i don't have a choice... Thought that since i'm in army should save abit but perhaps i never thought my family is having financial difficulties as well... So, since i'm now jobless, no income... They too can't support my insurance... Just too rash perhaps for my decisions... I'm a reckless risktaker... Most probably i'm going to either pause it, or maybe end it...
Sometimes i think my home is very cosy, never given me any pressure, always feeling comfortable and at ease whenever i'm home. However, it seems... not so true after all... The same pressure applies... When in school, i've to worry about school and money, back at home still have to tolerate some naggings... Sometimes, i really feel i should just stay there and don't come back... Maybe i'm not welcome anymore? I'm now a leecher trying to leech my family's income... Sometimes, i really hate myself...
I need to apologise to my friends as well... Paiseh, currently no money so cannot go out with you all... And also there's a few assignments to rush, so this few weekends i'd prefer to do something about them first... Perhaps, maybe after the assignments are done and things getting back to slightly normal pace, then maybe i can go out again... Sorry guys~
Job... i need a job... But can i cope with my studies if i'm working? Sigh........
